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Post by Alexia DeMarco on May 14, 2007 7:16:17 GMT 7
One brief glance up, across the table at Christian, it was a response to his words more than anything else. It made her feel a little better, he didn't want to leave her alone, but he was going to let her sleep a little. In a way, it made her ache inside, what would it be like to get him to really open up to her? Sometimes he appeared to be so close to saying something, only to pull back at the last minute. Was he always like that? Or did something happen to him in his past, and he just didn't want to get that close to anyone? This was leading to more questions, and she didn't want to have any more questions. Not until she had some more sleep.
Feeling the need to say something to him, Lexi sees him smiling at her, and she smiles back. But it was still not her normal way of smiling, and she sighed. Couldn't they just go back to the way things were, before everything went wrong? Or could they somehow get back there? She so desperately wanted to go back, but she knew that it was too late for that to happen. "Oh, okay. But if you need to step out, don't worry about me, I'll be fine." Maybe not exactly true, but she could survive, couldn't she? She then looks down at her plate, as she continues to eat, and trying to sort out her thoughts.
Finishing off her waffle, and the slices of apple on her plate, Lexi looks over at Christian. He was silent again, probably out of respect for her, and not wanting to talk about awkward things again. This was so hard, it made her cringe inside so much. She was so much more used to being open and friendly with people. Christian was the opposite almost, and it was such a trying effort to communicate with him sometimes. But she was attracted to him, was that why? Almost like something you couldn't have easily, it made you work that much more to have it. Sipping at her water, she can feel a wave of fatigue washing over her, and she wants to crawl into his bed right away. But she felt that she had to help with the table a little. Standing up, not saying anything, she picks up her plate, and her glass, walking over to the sink. Putting the plate and silverware in the sink, she leans on the counter, finishing off the glass of water. Setting it down, she turns to Christian, and wants to say something more. but she ends up not saying much at all. "I don't think I'll sleep that long, I'll never get to sleep tonight if I do." Maybe she could set an alarm, or something, and just get a couple hours of rest.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 14, 2007 8:08:34 GMT 7
Christian darted out of his chair when Alexia picked up her plate and glass to take it to the sink. "I..." He was going to say he would take care of it, but it seemed useless to say now that she was already putting them in the sink. Reaching his hand up to the back of his neck, Christian watched her lean against the counter and finish her water. It wasn't a perverse stare in the least, but one that was sadly intrigued. He had managed to slip them both into a scenario that tested the strength of their relationship.
"I can wake you up in an hour, if you want," he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and taking a few steps forward. Smiling down at her again, though it was a small one, Christian nodded his head toward the bedroom and said, "Come on, I'll take care of the kitchen after you lay down." His eyes glanced at the plate and glass briefly before he lead Alexia back down the hall and opened the door to the largest bedroom in the apartment.
Pushing the slightly ajar door to his closet back in place, Christian said, "Make yourself at home." He busied himself with closing the blinds and untying the curtain sashes, gradually reducing the light in the room. The bathroom still managed to slip a hint of light through, as did the hallway light, but for the most part it was beginning to appear more like a shaded room than anything.
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Post by Alexia DeMarco on May 14, 2007 8:58:27 GMT 7
Lifting her eyebrows as Christian jumps out of his seat, Lexi is confused about why he reacted in that way. Had she done something wrong? She was just used to putting the dirty dishes in the sink at home, maybe his family didn't do things that way. Or was he just trying to be the gracious host, and make her feel at home? What ever it was, he seemed to get over it, maybe it wasn't that important.
His offer to wake her in an hour was tempting, but it didn't seem long enough to her. Biting her lip in thought, she let him lead her down the hall to his bedroom. "Well, one hour might not be long enough. Maybe two hours? Then you can come wake me up. And thanks for breakfast, Christian, that was perfect, just the right thing." As she followed him into the bedroom, she made her way to his bed, sitting down on the edge of it. Slipping off her slippers, she slides under the covers, and lays back, resting her head on the pillow. She then watches as Christian makes the room darker, but not totally dark. She almost wants to invite him to join her, in his bed, but she thought it was her tiredness clouding her thoughts. Just a couple hours of sleep, and she would feel a lot better, or so she hoped.
As he makes his way out of the bedroom, Lexi looks at Christian, and calls out to him, "Thanks." Smiling softly at him, she closes her dark eyes, as he shuts the door softly, and she tries to relax. Too much to think about, and she was too tired, way too tired. The light and the soft noises of his apartment begin to fade, and then she hears the door open. Turning toward the noise, she calls out his name softly, as she feels someone sitting on the edge of the bed next to her. "Christian?" Then he is leaning over her, a smile on his face, and she reaches up, stroking the warm skin of his cheek. Staring into his deep brown eyes, she feels so warm, so comfortable, and so safe. She feels him brushing her hair away from her eyes, and then his mouth is on hers, he was kissing her. She reaches behind his neck, pulling him closer, and returning his kiss. It was so satisfying, exactly what she wanted, except for one thing. He tasted funny, like he was made out of cloth, or maybe even a pillow.
Waking up with a start, Lexi rubs her hand over her face, blinking her eyes from the dim light entering the room. Realizing she had been dreaming, she wonders how long she had been asleep. Rolling over and reaching for the alarm clock on the nightstand, she accidentally hooks her finger in the handle on the drawer, pulling it open slightly. Finally looking at the alarm clock, she sees that she had been asleep for almost two hours. Not wanting to go back to sleep, she suddenly feels a little curious, wondering what kinds of things Christian kept in his drawer by his bed. Pulling it open a little more, she sees things like pens, a notepad, and what looked like a photo with a frame. Pulling out the frame, she looks at the photo, seeing a young woman smiling for the camera. It must be one of his sisters, she thought, maybe the younger one. But she didn't look a lot like Christian. Maybe she resembled one parent, while Christian looked like the other? That was a possibility, and something that she would have to ask him about, when she had a chance.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 14, 2007 20:10:37 GMT 7
"Two hours it is," he said with an affirmative nod. Two hours would give him plenty of time to clear his head and let Alexia relax. Perhaps once she woke up after her nap, they would both be in a better frame of mind to accept their current scenario. Yes, two hours was much better than one.
Carefully closing the door to the bedroom, Christian walked down the hall and into the living room. Pausing in front of the television set, his hand covered uncertaintly over the remote laying on the coffee table. He wasn't really in the mood to watch anything; he wasn't in a mood to do much of anything, really.
Turning around and making a beeline for the kitchen, Christian made himself a pot of coffee and poured a half cup into a mug. With a sigh, he took a swig and leaned against the counter. His eyes were drawn to the hallway; and, though he couldn't see his bedroom door from where he stood, he wondered if Alexia was asleep yet. He was tempted to tiptoe down the hall and press his ear against the door to see if she had dozed off. Chances were, she was sleeping quite well. If she had such a stressful night and then additional stress added on from Christian, she was probably fast asleep.
After drinking his coffee, he set it in the sink and rinsed all of the dishes before loading them in the dishwasher. For the next hour and a half, Christian sat down at his computer and went through his e-mails. There were several from Bianca, one from Thea, and a few, surprisingly, from Grace. Sifting through each of them and responding carefully to each, Christian didn't realize how much time had passed until he turned off the monitor and stood up to stretch his arms.
It was a good ten minutes until two hours was up, so Christian found himself pacing idly from room to room. While he walked, his mind wandered. Over the past few months, Christian had come to genuinely enjoy Alexia's company. She was a marvelous young woman with a sweet disposition and a great sense of humour. She was beautiful - there was no denying that. And, for one reason or another, she seemed to enjoy spending time with Christian.
Lately he had wondered what it would be like if he picked up the nerve to advance the friendship with her. Fear often gripped his heart when he thought about it; he had never really gotten over the experience with Rachel four years prior. But sometimes, late at night when he was lying alone in bed, he would yearn for the comfort of someone beside him. He always attempted to push it away, roll over on his side and force himself to sleep, but that feeling outlined a good number of his actions.
Would Lexi even want anything more? From what he had seen - the sadness in her brown eyes - Christian could wager a fair guess the answer was 'yes'. But taking that chance... he didn't know if climbing out on the limb would earn him anything more than a broken neck. He thought Rachel wanted that relationship, too, but he was proven wrong when she ran away from him, the school, and the life they had been sharing so happily - or so he thought.
Bzzz. Bzzz. Christian looked down and saw the cell phone in his hand buzzing like mad. Flipping open the top, he saw his alarm he set to wake up Alexia had gone off. Turning it off, he ran a hand across the back of his neck before looking down at the hallway. He might as well try something, even if it was a small gesture. Otherwise, he'd probably hate himself for never speaking up.
Walking quietly down the hall, Christian knocked softly on the bedroom door before opening it up and stepping in. She was awake already, to his surprise, and held a tiny frame and photograph in her hand. Swallowing back the anxiety that formed in his throat, Christian watched her with steady eyes. He wasn't angry - she probably hadn't meant to find the picture. Lexi had always respected Christian and his space, as well as his things. There was no anger in his eyes, just a solemn stare when he looked down at the photograph in her hand. "You're awake," he said softly, taking a few more steps and sitting down beside her on the bed.
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Post by Alexia DeMarco on May 15, 2007 7:22:17 GMT 7
As Lexi was rubbing her thumb along a corner of the photo frame, feeling the texture underneath, she hears the knock on the door, before Christian came in. A hint of a smile forms on her lips, while he comes closer, and sits down on the bed. Still looking sleepy, she can see him staring at the small frame in her hand, and she wonders if she had done anything wrong. Maybe he had the photo in the drawer for a reason, was he not getting along with his sister? He hadn't mentioned it to her, but he could be so private about such things. "Hey, yeah, I just woke up a couple of minutes ago. I, um, kinda opened the drawer by accident. I hope you don't mind." Maybe it was something else, but he seemed to be focused on that picture, and she didn't want him to be angry with her.
While she thought about it, Lexi realized that she had not seen Christian angry before. They hadn't been in a situation together where he would have been angry, so she wasn't sure what he did, or how he looked, when he became upset over something. Not that she ever wanted to see him that way, but she knew it would eventually happen. Most people had a breaking point, and they eventually reached it. But this just didn't seem to be the case with him. Sighing softly, she lifts the photo frame, and holds it out to him. "So, is this the younger sister? Bianca, right? She's very pretty." But Lexi still thought that she didn't look like Christian at all. Maybe the photo didn't do her justice, and if she ever met her in person, she would see more of a resemblance. Looking up at Christian, her dark eyes very curious, she moved her legs so he had more room to sit. Hopefully she wasn't pushing him into talking about something he didn't want to talk about. Fighting with one of her brothers was never a pleasant experience, and she had always managed to make up with them afterward.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 15, 2007 19:26:07 GMT 7
"It's ok," he said, shaking his head to emphasize his words. She still looked half asleep, but her sleepy smile made a smile form on his own lips. When his dark eyes dropped back down to the photograph, though, his smile seemed to linger for only a second before slowly fading back.
The young, dark-haired woman in the photograph had a winning smile on her face. The background was faded, not entirely obvious that the setting had been Times Square just before the New Year set in. She hadn't been drunk, but two glasses of wine had made her giggly and full of extravagant laughter. That laughter shined on her face as Christian's eyes focused in and out on the picture taken nearly five years ago.
His gaze broke when Lexi suggested it was his sister. The conscious realization that she would, in fact, ask about the picture set in only once he heard her voice. Christian and Alexia had never discussed Rachel, but what reason did they have, until now, to ever bring it up in conversation? His lips parted as though he was going to speak, but he closed them again, running his tongue across his teeth before looking from Lexi to the photograph. "That's my ex." There, it was out in the open. Looking over at the woman lying in the bed, his bed, however, made him feel the need to justify -- especially after the morning they just had.
Clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, he continued. "Her name was Rachel. We were both freshmen at Rutherford and got along really well. We started seeing each other more and more and eventually got together." His brow furrowed just enough to suggest he didn't like sharing his story. "We were together all through freshman and sophmore year," he said, a sad, small smile on his face. "One day I walked to her dorm and wanted to take her out for dinner, but she wasn't there. Her roommate wasn't in, either, so I asked the RA downstairs." He looked up briefly at Lexi, pausing, before looking away at the wall. "He said she moved out. She was gone. Transferred. She didn't say goodbye, she didn't leave a note, nothing. She never called and I haven't heard from her since." Shaking his head, Christian looked back down at the picture, his expression almost entirely even. "We hadn't fought or struggled with anything in our relationship. I don't know why she left or where she went."
With a sigh, Christian dropped his eyes to the floor and was completely silent, not trusting himself to keep talking.
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Post by Alexia DeMarco on May 16, 2007 9:41:08 GMT 7
When Christian's smile fades away, Lexi knew that something was going on, something that she didn't know anything about. Even when he didn't communicate at all, she felt she could sense that something was wrong with him. It was the little things, and he was showing some of it now. If only she could get him to talk about it, then maybe it would be better. And she was really shocked, when the words started to spill from his mouth. "Oh..." was her initial reaction, as she realized that it wasn't his sister, but someone... someone he once loved, and from his tone, it sounded like he still might.
As Christian continued to speak, Lexi did her best to listen. It was such a sad story, she was very touched by it. It sounded like he had been dealing with it for a long time. Had he been dating anyone since then? Was he the type to go into seclusion over something like this? It made Lexi realize how much she actually didn't know about Christian, and that made her a little sad. Instinctively wanting to slide over to him, and hug him, telling him it would be okay, she decides that she would have to take it a little easy, and not be too clingy with him. Sitting up, and sliding over so that she was sitting next to him, Lexi takes his hand in both of hers, and just holds it. Her gaze is also on the floor, as she sits silently, and thinks of what she wants to say.
Finally glancing up at Christian's face, Lexi sighs, speaking to him, wanting to comfort him. "I'm so sorry Christian, that is such a sad story. I can't say anything like that has happened to me. I had a bad breakup at the end of high school, but it doesn't really compare. Is there anything I can do?" She avoided asking any of the questions she wanted answers to, he didn't need to hear her prying into things to satisfy her personal interests. And she saw this as an opportunity to help repay him for what he had done for her that morning. He needed someone to listen, and she was the only one who could do that for him right now. And she could set aside the fuzzy events from the night before, for a little while, as she tried to help him deal with his broken relationship.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 16, 2007 21:49:12 GMT 7
Warmth flowed into his hand when he felt Alexia's fingers wrap around his own. Though he didn't stop talking to look up at her, even though the action caught him a little off-guard, Christian appreciated the gesture. Sympathy wasn't an emotion he accepted easily, but she didn't seem overpowering with her concern. The small things always made the biggest impressions.
Dark eyes lifted to meet and hold Alexia's gaze when she spoke to him. He watched her, his mouth closed and expression not readable. It was neither anger, nor sadness. It wasn't really an emotion at all, just a blank look, really. Only once she finished speaking did he offer a small curve of his lips, a sad smile that rarely touched the young man's face, and look across the room at the shaded window.
"No," he said, his voice deep but soft. "I don't think so." Christian remained silent for the next several seconds; it wasn't until he let out a small sigh that he realized his hand was still in Lexi's palms. His gaze flickered between the woman's eyes and down at their intertwined hands. It felt obscure, in a sense, but in another fashion it was entirely comfortable. It made Christian wish he could just push away all the inhibitions he had and take a chance.
Christian dropped his eyes to the frame and old photograph sitting on the comforter, staring at the happy smile on Rachel's face. He wondered if she was happy wherever she was now. Was she happier without him around? Maybe she had moved on and didn't let the past tie her down to the rigid and bitter emotions that Christian felt himself drowning in. Four years, he thought to himself, and he was still acting as though she left only days ago. Four years.
Christian ran his finger back and forth across the inside of Alexia's palm, not looking up at her quite yet. His thoughts were still pressing on the inside of his skull, almost commanding him to try something new. It didn't have to be an eternal vow of commitment; he needed to step forward or else he would wake up one day regretting the decisions he had made. How often had teachers given him that advice? How often had he given that advice to rising journalism students? The numbers were high enough to make him look a fool for not following his own recommendations.
But when Christian looked over at Alexia, he didn't know what to say. His lips barely parted, almost enough to suggest he was going to speak, but not a sound escaped him. Feeling a tight pulse in his stomach, Christian swallowed back the fear attempting to block his frame of mind. His jaw tensed, that familiar tick creeping into the lower areas of his cheekbones.
Then, after seconds upon seconds of silence and what felt like inner debate, Christian leaned forward and kissed Alexia on the cheek. He didn't let go of her hand or attempt to free himself from her grip. The gesture was small, but it might say more than whatever words he might manage to form with the puzzled state of mind he currently sat in. Christian hesitated for a second, hovering somewhere between right at her cheek and pulling himself back where he was sitting. Dropping his chin and swallowing down the thick fear building in his throat, he leaned back and said, "Thank you."
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Post by Alexia DeMarco on May 17, 2007 8:00:10 GMT 7
Christian was trying so hard to deal with everything on his own, it was making so much sense to Lexi now. It wasn't something that he was going to move past overnight, but the fact that he had talked about it with her must have been a big step. She just needed to concentrate on being his friend, and listening to him, if there was anything else there, it would come later on it's own. The sad smile and the soft words said so much, and she could only do a little. Sometimes coming out of a relationship was it's own giant personal trap, it took a lot of effort to move on. And Lexi wanted to help him move on so badly.
Lexi watched Christian's gaze wander to other things in the room. She felt his finger moving across the inside of her small hand. Maybe she was helping him, just by holding his hand, but it was so hard to tell with him. And it looked like he wanted to say something more, but whatever had it's grip on his soul wasn't letting go. And the sudden kiss on her cheek made her lift her fine brows in mild surprise. As he lingered close to her, she wondered if he was going to do something else. And would she accept it, or reject it, after what had happened to her last night? As her dark eyes searched his for what he might try next, he slowly backed away, thanking her. A soft, sympathetic smile crept onto her lips, as she tilted her head slightly. "Your welcome." And she felt like a small part of the huge debt that she owed him had been repaid.
Glancing at the framed photo lying on the bed, she reaches for it with one hand, still holding onto his hand with the other. Gently picking it up, and not letting her brown eyes linger on it for too long, she softly places it back in it's spot in the drawer, and then slides it shut. Lexi felt that she had no place in telling him what to do with photo, it was up to him if he wanted to keep it there or not. Turning back to gaze at him, with the soft smile lingering on her face, she rubs the back of his strong, muscled hand with her thumb. This companionable silence between them was different, it was something she had never really had in a friendship. Or even in a relationship, but it was something to cherish, and not to rush. So she sits there for a while, watching the muscles in his cheekbones working, and holding his hand. Sighing deeply, not losing her smile, she wanted to say something. Not knowing what to say, only one tiny word comes out of her mouth. "So..." She was giving him a chance to change the subject, if he wanted to change it, or to say something else about his ex. If he decided to say anything.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 17, 2007 8:31:36 GMT 7
Christian watched Alexia pick up the picture frame and put it back in the drawer. When she slid it shut and the drawer made the tiniest 'click', he let out a quiet breath. He wasn't sure why he kept the photograph and sad memory lingering around in the one room he was supposed to keep peaceful; but, it had remained in that drawer for years. Maybe once Alexia left, he would put the picture frame in the box of old college things sitting in the back of his closet.
If he had ever estimated the emotion that would come with stepping out on a limb again, it wouldn't have felt anything like he felt right now. That fear still threatened the bottom of his stomach, but it wasn't nearly as overpowering. Now that the picture was locked back away in the dusty drawer, Christian felt more at ease with his surroundings. He even managed to relax and enjoy the feeling of Lexi's fingers brushing across the back of his hand.
"So," he repeated, a small smile on his lips as his eyes dropped to look at the pattern of the bed comforter. "You can't sum it up much better than that," he added with a quiet chuckle, shaking his head and sighing at the sudden silence of it all. He wasn't uncomfortable, but he didn't know where to move the conversation. Rachel wasn't exactly a light topic to discuss at the moment. However, now that it was out and Alexia knew about her, it would make future discussions less overwhelming.
Her nap, he thought to himself, letting his eyes wander from the square of fabric at his knee to look at the disheveled sheets and pressed pillow at the top of the bed. "Do you feel any better?" he asked, lifting his gaze and looking at her. She seemed more awake than when he first walked in.
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Post by Alexia DeMarco on May 17, 2007 9:28:44 GMT 7
Christian visibly relaxed, once Lexi had put the photo away in the drawer. She was glad she did, he was still obviously worked up over the whole thing. It had taken a lot for him to tell her what he did, and maybe he would talk more to her about it later. But no sense in making him feel uncomfortable about it. And she even laughed a little at his dry remark about her one, short word. It actually felt good to laugh a little, it helped to ease some of the tension she still felt. She wondered if she was going to sleep at all that night, and she hoped that she would find a way to do it.
But she felt more alert now, she wasn't so overwhelmed with fatigue, and the memories of last night were starting to fade a little. But there were so many questions, and so many gaps, she hoped that wasn't going to bother her for a long time. Lexi follows Christian's gaze to the spot where she was lying, and the memory of her dream flood her mind. Oh crap she thought, now that dream would keep her up all night. She was feeling something for him, deep down, and now that she knew about his ex, maybe she stood a better chance of something happening between them. But it couldn't be rushed, and she would have to just be patient.
Turing back to look at Christian's deep brown eyes, Lexi smiles, as she nodded slowly. "Yes, much better, thank you. Well, not as tired as I was, but..." A sigh, and then she glances away, not sure she wants to talk. But maybe it would help her to say something about it. "I guess I'm still thinking about last night, trying to remember... Do you think I'll ever get the memory back, Christian? I mean, should I get it back? I'm still wondering if I really want to know." Her hand tightens instinctively on his, there was a small ball of fear in her stomach. If she did remember, then she might have nightmares about it. There was something positive in the thought that she may never remember exactly what happened.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 17, 2007 20:51:13 GMT 7
Christian managed to make an almost seamless transition from topic to topic; the change was one he welcomed. It was nice to put all the cards out on the table every once in awhile, but he could use a little time to rekindle his thoughts before talking about his ex in any detail.
His expression, though faded, grew more concerned and sympathetic when Alexia fearfully inquired his opinion on her memory, or lack therof. Christian had never been completely trashed, so he couldn't really hold a personal opinion. "I don't know," he said, giving her own hand a small squeeze of support.
He really shouldn't be bothered by the possibilities of what happened to her when she was in the cell. Well, he needed to be bothered to a certain degree, but not as bothered as he felt whenever the topic arose. Even though he didn't want to talk about Rachel, talking about Alexia and her faded evening wasn't easy, either. If it had been her own choice, Christian might not have had such a difficult time wrapping his mind around the situation. But that wasn't his business.
Looking over at Lexi, Christian feels a sting of pain on her behalf. He couldn't imagine being in her position right now. He couldn't even imagine spending an evening in a jail cell. It was a foreign concept to him. But he wasn't going to sit around and offer her sweet nothings on a serious topic, either. "Do you want me to go down to the station now?" His tone was mild, his voice quieter than normal. In a way, he didn't want to find out. What if he knew who it was? What would stop him from getting angry and confronting whoever it was?
Those thoughts and questions boiled inside him while he sat there beside her, stroking her hand comfortingly and almost praying she would change her mind about finding out. OCC: Kind of crappy. =(
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