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Post by Alexia DeMarco on May 8, 2007 7:33:11 GMT 7
The squeeze on her shoulder, the quiet intenseness of his attention, and the gentle stroking of her arm, all showed that Christian was not going to run away. Lexi felt mild relief when she realized that, and she sighs, her eyes seeming vacant and sad. As he continued to hold her, but at a distance, and looking away, Lexi wondered what was going through his mind. There was something going on, she had been around him enough to know when he was thinking. And the panic was starting to come back, how was she going to make it through the next hour, or even the next several hours? Maybe with his help, but was he willing to give it?
Lexi hangs on every word that Christian speaks, he was offering to help her. But was she ready to find out what exactly happened? Or at least to find out who was with her last night? Normally, she would be angry, and ready to confront whomever it was with her, and who had taken advantage of her. But it was different, it was like something had broken inside of her, and she just didn't want to face it right then. These thoughts were in her mind, as Christian suddenly pauses, and she waits for the next word to come from his lips. Say it, please say it! I need to hear what you are going to say! she thought, as he searches for the word that finally eludes him. Searching his brown eyes, looking for what he was feeling, she can't stand it anymore. "You just what, Christian?"
Suddenly looking away, chewing on her lip in thought, Lexi wanted to give him an answer. She wanted to know as much as she could find out, and she knew that Christian would be in a position to find out a lot. But was she really ready to find all that out? "I dunno, I'm not sure I'm ready." But she was going to need some help , and she turns slowly back to look up at Christian's dark eyes. Could she continue to ask him for assistance, after he had given her so much already? Shaking her head slowly, she wants to crawl back to him, and just let him hold her for a while. And there was another question that suddenly formed in her tired and stressed out mind. "Do you think you could find out? And... do you think I should go to the hospital?" She was a little stiff and sore from the night before, but it was only in the back of her mind. Surely a doctor could tell her if something had happened? Or it nothing happened. Maybe that was a place to start, but she wanted to hear Christian's opinion, before she decided to do anything.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 8, 2007 19:27:31 GMT 7
Christian shifted a little, not quite sure how to respond to her inquiry. "I don't know," he said smiling softly down at her before letting his eyes drift to the wall and back down again. His concentration needed to stay on her situation, not the strange feelings he thought he might have for the Rutherford student. Christian wasn't willing to admit having feelings for anyone, not after his last traumatic experience with romance. But, maybe Evelyn was right: sometimes you just have to take a chance. Sighing inwardly, Christian pushed the thought out of his mind and turned his attention back to Alexia.
He nodded slowly when she said she didn't know if she was ready. He could understand that, strangely enough. Christian didn't know if he would want to find out if he was in her position. It was a strange occurence, rare but occasional. The thought still made a tiny flame grow inside his chest, enough to irritate him at the thought of someone taking advantage of her.
Running his teeth back and forth, Christian lifted his brows and wondered how to answer the question about the hospital. "I can find out," he said with a nod, swallowing down the question he knew he had to ask but didn't want to bring himself to actually go through with. "But, the hospital..." Since he had been around Alexia, Christian had never really shifted into uncomfortable tension or awkward silence. But now, he frowned slightly and felt the tiniest hint of colour creep into his cheeks, barely visible unless observed closely. Finally just swallowing his embarrassment and opening his mouth, Christian said, "My guess is they would only know if it's the first time." There, it was out. His eyes had briefly met her own before shifting again. Rubbing his hand across the back of his neck, he added, "But if you want to go, I'd take you. If you want, I mean." At least that didn't leave her having to disclose any sort of personal information with him that she didn't want to share.
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Post by Alexia DeMarco on May 9, 2007 8:38:59 GMT 7
And there it was, the words spoken from Christian's mouth, that described very simply what they had together. His quiet, sometimes aloof manner, and her uncertainty about what she felt, and what he felt. Why did she think that there could be more, or that there would be more? Looking down at the floor, and letting out long, slow sigh, Lexi tried not to let her disappointment show in her brown eyes. And looking away meant that Christian wouldn't see it, or at least, not right away. Why did the guys who she felt would make a good boyfriend, like Christian, always seem to back away for some reason?
Christian's spoken words bring her back to reality, and Lexi looks up at him, her dark eyes searching his face, wanting him to say more, and do more. She had a fleeting thought, of her pounding on his chest with her fist, screaming at him to wake up. But that was wrong, and after a night filled with wrongs from her, she didn't want to add another one to the list. Nodding slightly, still looking for something that she knew wasn't there, she sighs. She was not going to like finding out, but if he was offering to do it, why not let him? "Okay, see what you can dig up. I guess I need to know, it's going to bother me if I don't ever find out." Which was true from her point of view, but would it help her to know in the end? Only time would tell, and maybe an attorney could too. She was going to have to find a good one, but that could wait for later.
Lexi frowns suddenly, what was Christian saying about the hospital? And, was he talking about sex, about being a virgin, to her? Maybe that was his way of helping, he did appear to be slightly uncomfortable about it. But why was he saying that? Was he asking her if it was her first time? Of course it wasn't, if anything had happened at all. But she wasn't sure, and he didn't think that a doctor could tell. With her cheeks coloring slightly, she looks away, not sure what to say. Closing her eyes, she can only come up with one word. "Oh." Her head was suddenly pounding, the morning after so much binge drinking was having a bad effect on her. And she didn't want to have to go through a lot of waiting, and answering a lot of questions. Or possibly seeing someone she knew at the hospital. Turning back to look at Christian, a determined look in her eyes, Lexi decides that she didn't want to go after all. "No, I don't think I need to go. But thanks Christian, for offering to take me. Um, I think I just need to shower, then eat something, and maybe take a nap. Do you mind? I don't think I can make back to the dorm without a little more sleep." That was actually a little bit of a lie, she didn't want to be alone, and she was looking for an excuse not to leave Christian's apartment yet. She hated to impose on him, but she needed some time to sort out the swirling thoughts going through her head.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 9, 2007 20:51:11 GMT 7
Seeing the streak of disappointment in her clouded brown eyes, Christian drops his own eyes to the floor. She had looked away, probably hurt by his answer. Rolling his tongue over the roof of his mouth, Christian lets out a sigh of his own, though it isn't very audible. In a way, he wanted to change his answer, but it was probably too late now. And even if it wasn't, he didn't have a proper response. Christian didn't even know what to call the emotion or spark of curiousity he felt around her. It wasn't like he could just tap her on the shoulder and confess undying love. How can you confess something you don't even understand?
Her words brought him out of the turmoil he was raging with in his head. Christian nodded and cleared his throat before speaking. "I can go down this evening, if that's alright with you." He almost invited her to go along, but decided against it. She probably wouldn't want to be seen down there for a second time, and it might throw off the lie he was going to have to come up with to earn his clearance.
"You're always welcome here, you know that." Christian realized almost instantly after the words came out of his mouth that he was still practically cradling the woman against him. Her head wasn't far from his chest and his arms were still loosely wrapped around her shoulders. How long had it been since Christian felt someone so physically close to him? Rachel had left when Christian was only nineteen -- it had been nearly four years. Realization hit like a brick wall: he was comfortable sitting on his bathroom floor, leaned up against the wall keeping her up in his lap. The remembrance was almost painful, though.
Swallowing the lump growing in his throat, Christian gave her one more hug before helping them both to their feet. "What are you in the mood for? I can make just about whatever you want; I think the fridge is pretty stocked." There, a safe boundary.
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Post by Alexia DeMarco on May 10, 2007 8:20:07 GMT 7
Lexi's headache was getting worse, maybe it was all of the nervous energy draining out of her. Or maybe her disappointment was starting to make her feel stressed around Christian. Either way, she reaches for her temples, gently massaging them with her fingertips, and closing her eyes. Why did she think there would be more with him? How could she have fooled herself that way? She wanted him close, so that she felt more comfortable, but she wanted some distance from him, to help sort out her thoughts. His voice brings her back, her brown eyes open narrowly against the pain she was feeling. Not really caring at this point, she shrugs her shoulders, her empty eyes staring at his chin, before she glances up at his chocolate eyes. "Yeah, sure, that's fine." What else could she say, she wasn't going to demand that he go right then.
Lexi realized how close they still were to one another, her arms were still loosely wrapped around him, and she could smell the faint odor of something on him. It was like a hint of cologne, or aftershave, maybe he washed his hair in something different. Nodding so briefly at his invitation, Lexi smiles sadly as she tried to show her appreciation. "Thanks, Christian, I didn't know if you were busy. And I feel so bad imposing on you like this." She did need some more sleep, and something to eat. She was going to have find a way to repay him, even if he might fight her over it. Maybe those hockey tickets, if she had any money left, after the lawyer's fees.
Feeling Christian help lift her to her feet, returning his brief hug, she wipes at her eyes one last time, and starts rubbing her temples again. If she was going to impose on him, she was going to do it right. And since he said that his fridge was stocked, then he should have... "Pancakes? Or waffles, if you have them. Fruit, maybe not citrus, you have any apples? I think that's all I can handle right now. And Christian? I'm probably going to drive you crazy by saying this, but thank you so much. I don't know what I would have done, if you hadn't answered my call." She tries to smile a little more, and be more of her normal self. But it was a little forced, and she wondered how obvious it was to him that she was forcing it. She really needed some time to get her thoughts in order, and not let the uncertainty get to her. But she knew, deep down, that it was going to be really hard.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 10, 2007 21:10:40 GMT 7
"You aren't imposing at all. I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't willing." Christian watched her and felt a stab of guilt hit him one more time in the chest. Why couldn't he bring himself to say anything or do anything more? Fear seemed to have him locked down... there were too many barriers; it might not be worth the struggle. His jaw ticked in frustration with his own demons but he looked away from everything, staring at a blank space on the wall.
With a nod, Christian reached up to wipe a stray tear from her face. His fingers, though not callused in the least, were warm against her skin. "Waffles and apples it is," he said, adding his own smile to the mix. It was obvious her smile was forced, but he managed to convice himself it was on behalf of the traumatic evening she had gone through. He couldn't bring himself to admit it just might be because of him. "I laid clothes on the bed for you. I'll start breakfast and you can just come in the kitchen when you get done."
The additional thank you made his eyes drop briefly before returning to hold her gaze. It could have been perfect just then. He could have simply pulled her close and brought her lips to his own. It was almost the perfect opportunity, but he didn't budge. He couldn't. What if she pushed him away? What if she ran off like Rachel had? He couldn't bring himself to accept the risk just yet. But, that didn't mean he couldn't say anything. "I'll always answer your calls." His eyes flickered between her left and right eye, his expression solemn but caring.
Leaving Lexi to take her shower and change into the new set of clothes, Christian walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Putting his head in his hands, he let out a sigh and ran his fingers across the bridge of his nose between his eyes. He felt absolutely awful; he had answered when she needed his help but when she needed him the most had he just abandoned her? She didn't just need help with bail, she needed to hear something from him. The thought made the inside of Christian's stomach tense; it was the genuine grip of fear. He couldn't do it. He didn't even know how anymore. OOC: I feel like I just wrote part of a romance novel. o.O
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Post by Alexia DeMarco on May 11, 2007 8:30:14 GMT 7
Did he just say that he was willing? And what did he mean by that, exactly? Willing to make her feel like he just ripped her heart out? She wanted to scream at him, do anything to get a response. It was a good thing that he happened to look away, as another wave of disappointment washed over her. She needed some space from Christian, if only for twenty minutes or so, and she could calm herself down. It wouldn't be a good thing to yell at him for being himself around her, would it? Lexi managed not to flinch from his gentle touch, and the wiping away of a tear from her cheek. She also didn't lean into his hand, or reach up to touch his wiry wrist, even though she really wanted to do it. It made her so sad, this was all there was going to be between them, and she was so tired of trying so hard. Closing her eyes, she didn't want him to see the pain in them. She nodded softly, not trusting her voice to be steady, and hoped that he wouldn't ask her to say anything. When he didn't go right away, Lexi opened her eyes, staring into Christian's dark brown gaze. What did he want? And why couldn't he just say what he wanted? Was he too embarrassed about saying something to hurt her feelings? And then he said something about always being there for her. Did she believe him? With his eyes shifting back and forth, maybe she didn't. But it was a typically nice Christian thing to say, and she lowers her eyes, mumbling a response. "Thanks." What else could she say, without yelling at him? After Christian left, Lexi lets out a large sigh, and starts the water going in the shower. As she peels off her clothing, she wonders what she is going to do about Christian. Was she willing to continue what little they had between each other? Or was it time to move on, and see if she could find someone else, maybe just staying friends with him, and seeing him only on occasion? These were the thoughts crowding her brain, as she suddenly hissed in pain. Her hip was bothering her, and she looked down, seeing the large, purplish bruise forming on it. Having no idea how it got there, she steps into the shower, enjoying the warm water trickling against her skin. As she thought about everything, she wanted to give Christian another chance, maybe he was just trying to be nice to her after last night. Maybe one more chance, a little more time to see if he wanted something with her or not. Why did it matter so much to her? Did she feel that strongly about him? Something else to think about. Putting on the clothes he had laid out for her, with a towel wrapped around her head, she gathers up her clothes from last night, and wonders what to do with them. She didn't want to ever see them again, and it didn't seem right to just leave them on the floor in the bathroom. Maybe there was a large trash can in the kitchen. Walking slowly down the hall, her cheap slippers from last night shuffling across the floor, she enters the kitchen. Smiling slightly at the aroma of food being prepared, she looks over at Christian, and sighs. One more chance, and then, that would be it. Waiting until he glanced at her, she says, "Where do you keep your trash can?" Once he told her, she was going to throw away the bundle in her arms. ((I'll share the profits with you! ))
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 12, 2007 8:16:49 GMT 7
Christian rubbed his fingers methodically across his temples, massaging the ache that was beginning to develop in his skull. He stood over a plate of steaming waffles holding a knife in one hand and his head in the other. A half-cut apple sat on the counter, the fresh slices in a china bowl. Taking his hand away from his head, Christian finished cutting the apples before getting out the butter and syrup. He was just pulling out silverware when he heard the sound of slippers shuffling across the hardwood floors.
Turning around, Christian gave her his typically kind smile. Nodding in the far corner of the kitchen, he said, "Right over there." After another slightly lingering glance, Christian returned his attention to the food on the counter. He made the finishing touches before carrying the food to the dining room table, only a few feet from the kitchen itself. In reality, they were the same room; Christian simply preferred to label them separately. Along with the waffles and apples was a glass of ice water. "I can get you some coffee, too, if you want," he said, rubbing his hand across the side of his neck.
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Post by Alexia DeMarco on May 12, 2007 8:48:12 GMT 7
Lexi sees that Christian is watching her, he was probably wondering what she was up to, with the clothes in her arms. Not that it was going to matter that much in a minute. She looks in the direction that he was indicating, and she starts shuffling over in that direction. She was determined to get rid of any bad memeries of last night, and she wasn't going to answer many questions, before she acted. Finding the trash can, she lifts the lid, and stuffs the bundle in her arms into it. Pushing the lid closed as best she can, Lexi makes her way over to the table, looking at the wonderful breakfast that Christian had made.
Turning towards Christian, biting her lip with a thoughtful expression on her face, she looks into his brown eyes, and sighs. How could she stay angry with him, when he looked so cute, rubbing his neck like that? Shaking her head slowly, the last thing she needed was something to keep her up. "Not right now, thanks, maybe later. I will have some water, though. I just need some rest, and coffee won't let me do that, if I start drinking it. So, where do I sit?" She wanted to get some of the food into her, maybe that would help her to feel a little better. And she still wasn't feeling very happy around Christian, but she didn't feel like yelling at him anymore. Maybe they could talk a little more later, and she would feel a lot better about everything. All she wanted was to go back to the way things were, before last night. Why did it have to complicate things between the two of them like that?
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 12, 2007 9:17:04 GMT 7
Christian nodded slowly and thoughtfully at her response. "Good point," he said absently, a frown creasing his brow. Of course she wasn't going to want coffee before laying down for a nap. In any regular situation, Christian wouldn't have suggested something when the answer was an obvious one; however, his mind was rather fragmented at the moment and left him without his typical, sophisticated air.
"Over here." Christian pulled out the chair closest to the kitchen and nodded at Alexia to sit down. Watching her with gentle brown eyes, Christian couldn't help but bite back the urge to say something. He felt like he needed some sort of justification for earlier, although he wasn't positive he was the reason behind her sorrow. Deep down, he knew he had managed to somehow stick a thorn in her side. Her smiles weren't her own and there was an unfamiliar gleam in her gaze. Something he had done managed to get underneath her skin, but how was he able to figure out what it was?
Once Lexi had taken her seat, Christian sat down in the chair next to her. "Did the shower make you feel any better?" he asked, leaning back and resting his elbows on the arms of the chair. "Sorry the clothes are so big on you," he added with a small smile. His dark eyes caught her own; though he didn't say anything, his eyes almost apologized for him. But even so, he wasn't sure what exactly he was apologizing for. He wanted to earn back her approval, if that was even the right word, but he didn't know how to go about it. "If you want to take a nap after breakfast, you're more than welcome to stay in my room. I think it's the most comfortable, but if you'd rather stay in the guest room that's ok, too. Your choice."
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Post by Alexia DeMarco on May 12, 2007 10:22:45 GMT 7
As Lexi takes the seat offered to her by Christian, she gives him a soft, sad smile in appreciation. There was something going on with him, was he wanting to ask her more questions about last night? Or did he just feel uncomfortable around her now, since they had that nearly intimate conversation in the bathroom? And would she just push him farther away, if she asked him what it was? She sighs, looking at the food in front of her, and then gazing back at him with her sad, brown eyes. With an awkward silence starting between them, she is slightly relieved when he starts to ask her some mundane questions.
Nodding slightly, as she starts eating from the plate in front of her, she sighs in pleasure at the incredible flavors dancing across her tongue. "Yes, I'm feeling much better, thank you. And the clothes are fine, I just couldn't stand to wear what I had on anymore. This is really good, Christian, thank you for making me something to eat." This was helping her actually, to be able to have a conversation about little things, and nothing too serious. But there was something in his eyes, something that she hadn't seen before. Some new emotion, and she had no idea what it meant. Maybe things were different between them, and she was going to have to figure it out. Tilting her head to one side, curious about his offer of beds to her, she takes a small bit of apple, while she thinks about it. "Well, what are you going to do, while I'm sleeping? I don't want to take your bed, if you need a nap also. But if you're going to be out, then I'll sleep in your bed, if that's okay." The thought of sleeping in his bed stirred something inside of her, but she didn't say anything about it.
Sighing heavily, and setting down her fork, Lexi looks at Christian, as thoughts swirled inside of her head. Maybe she did need to say something to him, and she didn't want something simple to come between them. "Christian, I know you have a lot of questions, and I don't have very many answers for you. But after my nap, if you want to ask me some of those questions, then I'll try to answer them. And, thanks again, for everything." With a small smile, she goes back to eating, and she is suddenly interested in what is on her plate for a while. She just couldn't trust herself to be rational when talking to him right now, she needed more sleep. Then she could try to answer some of those questions that must be lingering around in that handsome head of his.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 14, 2007 6:38:01 GMT 7
"You're welcome," he said, crossing his legs and adjusting his weight in the dining room chair. Christian had never felt uneasy or awkward around Alexia to the extent he did right this moment. For the time being, it seemed as though safe, easy questions were the only territory worth exploring. The more words he got out, the more comfortable he felt. But it was a different sort of comfortable - one worth noting and remembering. It wasn't so much a comfort with the two people in the room; it was more a comfort from knowing the ice wasn't going to break and neither of them would fall into an infinite pit if they slipped up on a question. It was more security than anything, really.
Christian lifted his eyes from the place he had been staring at on the wall. Letting his gaze rest on Lexi, he parted his lips to speak before any words fell from his lips. Closing them to actually think about what he might do, he ended up saying, "I don't know. I might watch television or check my e-mails. I'll find something to pass time. I won't leave you," he added almost absently before realizing it might sound more metaphorical than the simplicity with which it was delivered. Once that dawned on him, he fixed his eyes on her and slowly let a small, but genuine, smile touch his face. The urge to make her smile again and convince her everything was actually going to work out, even if he didn't know how, was frighteningly strong.
His head bobbed slowly up and down in a soft nod. Questions. Questions and answers. It was like an interview, but it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be like that between friends. Should it? Christian's head whirled with so many thoughts that he hardly realized the silence fell between them again. What was it about this girl? Feeling the familiar tick in his jaw, Christian cleared his throat and took a drink of his water, not wanting to trust that instinct telling him to say something. Maybe after her nap, he thought.
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