|
Post by Conor Moore on Apr 8, 2007 14:08:17 GMT 7
_______________ Conor was feeling slightly bored with sitting in his apartment all day smoking all his cigarettes and wariting ten songs in the time frame of one in the morning the six at night. He decided that after he'd finished off his cigarettes that he should take a walk or something. So he went to the nearest gas station and bought more cigarettes, a six pack of beer and then walked to the park. He needed some fresh air and somewhere to think.
Conor walked into the park and lit up a new cigarette that he had just bought at the gas station. He took a long hit off of the little cancer stick and sighed the smoke out of his mouth and his nose. He looked around the park and sighed lightly. It was a really nice day, but he wasn't in the best of moods. He hadn't done any drugs today and his depression was winning over his slightly good mood. He had been in his apartment all day and he had stopped writing his song acouple times to cry. He was really down in the dumps and that wasn't good for a boy like himself. When he got depressed it was not a good thing. He had crying episodes and he ever had rage episodes. It really sucked.
Conor walked over a a bench and sat down. He looked up at the blue sky and saw a cloud that looked like a turtle. He furrowed his brow slightly and tilted his head a bit. He smiled faintly and then imagined it getting run over by the round cloud that was coming up next to it. He smiled at that and then thought about how depressing it was that he thought it was funny that a turtle got run over by a cloud blob. But it was pretty funny. Conor really needed some drugs, then maybe he'd have a reason to be slightly crazy. ha. He took another hit off his cigarette and looked around the park again, little kids playing in sand boxes at seven o'clock at night made him sick, why would they're parents let them do that, alone where were they? He began to look for they're parents and saw two people talking to each other, two mom's he guessed, but they seemed to be flirting, so maybe they were lesbians. He laughed lightly to himself and took another hit of his cigarette.
|
|
|
Post by Evelyn Pierce on Apr 8, 2007 14:21:49 GMT 7
(second one from the left.) She took a long drag from the cigarette in her hand as she continued to walk around in Central Park. She was getting ready to go to a bar so that she could get wasted and in bed with another guy. It seemed to be a routine now, that was the pitiful part. She felt that guys would only like her if she let them fuck her but all they did was fuck with her heart. She didn't know what love was anymore and she was growing cold and shoving everyone away from her like she used to do in high school. She finished off her cigarette before throwing it to the ground and stomping it out. She took out another one as she tried to light it but sadly there was no more lighter fluid. "Son of a bitch." she mumbled as she threw it towards the trash can but missed. She glanced around wondering who would have a lighter that she could borrow. She glanced around as her eyes came upon her friend Conor. She hadn't seen him in awhile and she was thinking of calling him up but every time she thought about it she'd get too nervous to do so. Yes, it was obvious she liked him but she wasn't willing to let him know that. No, if he heard anything about her he'd think she's just a useless slut who has nothing better to do with her time. She ran a hand through her blond hair that swayed against her shoulders gently as she tucked a loose piece behind her ear. She walked over to him and gave him a polite smile. "Hey Conor." she said and smiled as she sat down next to him. She would have hugged him but again her nervousness got the best of her. She held the unlit cigarette in her hand and looked down at it as if it was the newest thing on the block.
|
|
|
Post by Conor Moore on Apr 8, 2007 14:36:53 GMT 7
_______________ Conor didn't know what love was. He never experianced it when he was younger. His father said that love didn't exsist, at least not for Conor. Conro sort of believed him. Conor wasn't much of a slut, but he sure didn't mind them. He had only had sex once, or twice and that had been pity sex, both times. The girls felt bad for him cause he had gone into one of his bawling sessions and they had felt bad, so they had slept with him to make him feel better. He had thanked them and then left the next morning. He didn't believe in love, but he liked sex, and he was slightly annoyed with people who held they're virginity on such a high pedistal. He thought it was something fun to do, so he did it when he could. But he wasn't sure who would want to fuck him. He thought he was pretty much the ugliest guy ever.
Conor had sunk into his seat as much as he could, he was so sunk that his head touched the back of the bench and rested there. His legs where almost in the middle of the sidewalk, he didn't like to be rude, but he didn't care that his legs were causing people to take another sidewalk to get on the otherside of him. Conor looked up slightly shocked as a beautiful blonde friend of his stood in front of him and said hi. She then sat with him. He smiled lightly at her. He would have smiled bigger - because he wanted to - but he didn't like how retarded he looked when he smiled really big. So he gave her a little smile, "Hey Evelyn... how've you been?" he hoped that she was good, because he wouldn't want someone as pretty as her to ever be not good. He also wfelt bad for not calling her, or seeing her for quite awhile. I mean, he knew that phones worked both ways, but he was totally shy and he was pretty sure that she didn't like him as much as he liked her. Nor did he think that she cared if he called or not. "Need a light?" he asked looking at her unlit cigarette. He then leaned in, putting his cigarette in his mouth and sucked in to show her that his cigarette would lit hers if she put it up there. He knew that this was a slightly forward move, but he hoped it just looked suave instead of rude, or sleezy.
|
|
|
Post by Evelyn Pierce on Apr 8, 2007 21:43:13 GMT 7
Evelyn only knew love in the form of sex. Guys would get their way with her for one night and then it was over. There was no pain to be felt in the relationship even though Evelyn seemed to find away. Just once would she like to find a guy that didn't want to sleep with her that night but maybe just take her out and get to know her. Who was she kidding? Her childhood wasn't the blissful but instead it was just a wreck. Her Mother was trying to make her into a beauty queen and Evelyn was far from it. Her Father was pulling her in the direction of school work and making good grades but she seemed to deny both her Mother and Father.
She smiled over at him as she sat down and looked towards him. "I've been okay." she said and nodded as she looked over at him. "..not the best but hey who's complaining?" she said and let out a small laugh as she tucked away a piece of loose hair that blew in her face. She had dark circles around her eyes from the lack of sleep and from her tears from earlier this morning. Even though each time it was the same just with another guy she still seemed to get broken up about it. She wasn't a slut but a girl that didn't know what she wanted. She was loosing herself in to the new trends of today where drinking and smoking and having sex with guys she didn't know was all the cool things today. She wasn't doing it for the trends though it was just a matter of what she wanted to do.
Evelyn nodded as she stuck her cigarette up to his so that it would lit it. She then pulled it away and put it to her lips taking a deep hit and then exhaling it from her lips as she leaned back against the bench. "How have you been Conor?" she asked as she glanced over his way. It was getting really dark at the park but she didn't mind it at all. She liked the night so much better then the day time. "I missed you." she whispered quietly as she felt her cheeks grow a light pink color.
|
|
|
Post by Conor Moore on Apr 9, 2007 11:26:13 GMT 7
________________ Conor had had the worst childhood, but he really didn’t like to think about it. Sometimes Conor wondered if anyone wanted to look back at they’re childhood? I mean, Conor never had this thing were he didn’t have a care in the world as a kid, so he didn’t know that other kids had that, so he honestly didn’t know why anyone would want to remember living with their parents. Conor was glad that he was a man and that he lived on his own, and worked for everything he had, even if sometimes it got slightly overwhelming and depressing that he still didn’t have a girlfriend, at the age of twenty-one. But he got over that he just poured it into his music.
Conor looked at Evelyn with a small sigh. He then smirked lightly as she asked who was complaining, “You… in an underhand way anyway.” He said with a goofy smile to let her know he was teasing her. Conor complained a lot, not to people really, just to paper and his psychiatrist. He didn’t judge one bit when people complained to him, he actually liked it, because then he knew that other people were feeling bad too, normally he thinks that other people have a better life then him, but he liked hearing that he wasn’t alone in his crappiness. Don’t get me wrong though, he felt bad for them too, and he felt horrible for being happy that they were sad too. But it did make him feel a bit better. Though not when Evelyn was feeling sad, she looked so much better when she was smiling all the time and didn’t have dark bags under her eyes though they didn’t not ruin her face one bit.
Conor leaned back to his normal seat as soon as her cigarette was happily lit. He then looked over at the gorgeous girl and smiled faintly, “I’m better now… don’t feel as lonely… thanks.” He said with a small smile. He was being honest about the thanking her for making him feel less lonely, cause he had been feeling horribly lonely. He heard her whisper something and smiled faintly; how could she have missed him? He leaned back over and put his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her into a slightly side hug and whispered back, “I missed you too, I’m glad we ran into each other.” He then loosened his hug a bit and smiled faintly at her. He felt sort of self-conscious about his side hug, but he hoped that she wouldn’t find it creepy or anything.
|
|
|
Post by Evelyn Pierce on Apr 9, 2007 11:40:26 GMT 7
"I'm glad you missed me. I'd feel dumb if you didn't." she said and smiled as she felt him pull her in to a side hug as she smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder as she leaned up and kissed his cheek gently. "I'm glad I ran in to you. You've already made my day better." she whispered in his ear before leaning back against his shoulder once more. She really had missed the boy. He was so sweet to her and cute too. To be honest she had a crush on him but then again the girl didn't know what to do with herself. If she was to get drunk around him she'd be nothing but a mess and she'd just throw herself against him like he was one of the other meaningless guys but she didn't want him to see her like that. She wanted it to be real between them.
"I hope you've had a better day then I have." she said and nodded as she took another hit from her cigarette and exhaled the smoke from her lips as she leaned against her shoulder. She stared up at the night sky seeing the many stars scattered against the dark blue sky. "It's so beautiful at night." she whispered as she looked up at it and seemed to lose herself in it. She thought that everyone was a star and they were all destined to find their soul mate. That one person that they belonged with and everything was perfect. She wished hers would find her soon. She was going through too much trouble to find her soul mate.
"I'm becoming an alcoholic.." she said and let out a small laugh at how stupid she sounded. "..at the young age of eighteen too. I'm not even legal yet!" she said and laughed once more as she leaned against him gently. "It's quite pitiful don't you think?" she asked him as she looked up in to his eyes and smiled sweetly at him.
|
|
|
Post by Conor Moore on Apr 9, 2007 12:33:26 GMT 7
________________ “How could I not miss you?” he asked smiling lightly at her, “You’re awesome.” He said putting on this surfer dude accent. He was teasing with her with the surf dude accent, but she really was awesome. Conor smiled faintly as she kissed his cheek, he looked down at her and kissed hers back. He then smiled faintly, “Glad I could help Miss Pierce.” He said with a quick light squeeze of her bony shoulder and a smile with his funny looking teeth. He liked her head resting on his shoulder, it made him feel all warm and cozy, and not in a gross way. How could you not be warm with someone so close that they’re head was able to rest on your shoulder and how could you not feel cozy in something like that?
“I wish I had… but alas… my day sucked. All I did was drink and smoke and write all day.” He looked at her and bit his lower lip as he asked, “What made your date not great?” he asked curiously, and concerned sort of. He hated when he cared about someone and they didn’t have good days. He wished that people who sucked would take all the bad days from the good people. He thought he was one of the bad people and he knew that Evelyn was one of the good ones… too bad that he couldn’t take away her bad day and give her a good one instead. Conor looked up at the sky as she mentioned it. He nodded lightly in agreement, “Yea, it’s pretty nice.” He said taking another drag from his almost burnt out cigarette. He exhaled the smoke slowly from his mouth and nose and then looked over at her as she spoke of her alcoholisium. He sighed lightly and looked at her with a sad expression. He then looked up at the sky as he listened to her speak. He sighed lightly and looked over at her when she asked ‘how pitiful is that?’ or something along those lines. He shrugged lightly, “its quite common.” He said in a quiet voice. He then leaned close and whispered, “You’re not alone in your problem.” He then peeled his jacket aside a bit to show her his six pack of beer sitting next to him, under his jacket so no one would steal it. He drank one on the way to the park, but he still had five more and he would most likely finish them by the walk home.
Conor looked in the girls eyes and covered his beer again, he really wanted to kiss her, but looked away instead. That’s usually what happened when he really wanted something. He’d look away or walk away, just because he got nervous or something. Which is what had just happened. Besides, he thought it would be weird to kiss a girl who he wasn’t sure if she liked him like that anyway. She would probably push him away and be totally disgusted then never talk to him again, then she’d tell everyone in the world that he had rape kissed her. He bit his lower lip getting very worried. He knew that Evelyn wasn’t like that, but it still scared him, so he just squeezed her shoulder lightly again and looked down at her with a small smile, “You’ll be fine though kiddo.” He then looked at her with a small frown and furrowed his brow a bit too, "what makes you want to drink though? is it anything inperticular?" he asked trying to be a help of some sort.
|
|
|
Post by Evelyn Pierce on Apr 9, 2007 12:53:20 GMT 7
She looked up at him as he furrowed his eyebrow and she nodded. His question was one she was almost uncertain of but she knew that wasn't true. She did know why she wanted to drink. "I-I drink so that I'm not lonely. I drink to forget about my childhood. I drink to try and feel love or something like it but I'm I'm.." she said as she because to choke up as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "..I'm so scared." she whispered as she closed her eyes and leaned back against her shoulder. She really wouldn't share that information with anyone but Conor was special, he was understanding and it seemed as if he actually cared.
She peered open her eyes and looked over at his expression. She was making herself very vulnerable to get hurt again and she felt so nervous. She'd never been this way sober. She'd always been on something to influence her decisions and cloud her judgment. Her idea of love was a one night stand and free drinks but she expected so much more; She wanted so much more.
She then thought about his other question about why her day was horrible. "This guy took advantage of me while I was drunk.." she admitted as she shook her head. "..I can't blame it all on him though because I've tried so hard to find the meaning of love and I've just came up empty handed." she said and leaned against him. She slowly let her arms wrap around his body as she leaned against him. Her eyes were slowly closing as she leaned against him. She was so comfortable laying next to him, it all seemed so natural.
She was glad that he knew what she was going through but he seemed to handle it better then she did. Maybe it was because her thin structure that drinking effected her so much? She'd take in a lot for such a small girl.
|
|
|
Post by Conor Moore on Apr 10, 2007 10:39:03 GMT 7
__________________ Conor frowned as she told him why she drank. He squeezed her a little closer to him. And rested his chin lightly on her head. He felt horrible. She seemed just as miserable as he was. He sighed lightly as she looked at him for his reaction. He bit his lower lip and nodded, “I get you in a way… I mean I understand you. I won’t say I know EXACTLY what you mean, because no one does… but I get it… I’m same… with drugs and alcohol. It sucks and I’m really sorry.” He said looking into her blue eyes with a sadness of his own showing through. Conor wouldn’t have necessarily shared as much as he did with her just now to just anyone, but she was his friend and he wanted her to not feel so alone. He hated feeling alone and he always thought he was alone his feeling of being alone. Conor only handled his drinking and drugging better because he’d been doing them since he was fifteen years old. So he’d gotten used to being drunk or high and doing something completely stupid or fucking some complete stranger. Really Conor liked being high and drunk, it made him forget his shit for a little bit. But it usually made all his shit much worse the next morning. With his hangover or even sometimes—when he couldn’t get drugs—his minor detoxes. His life got much worse and his memories hit him like a wave of water.
Conor looked at Eve with a look of slight anger as she told him why her day had been so horrible, “He didn’t rape you right?” he asked feeling his blood starting to heat up and his anger starting to get the better of him. Either way, if this guy raped her or not he was pissed with the dude and really wanted to hurt him just now. Conor seat up a bit straighter in his seat as he waited for her answer, he really hoped that she hadn’t gotten raped, which she probably hadn’t. The thought of her getting used pissed Conor off and he was sort of afraid of himself getting pissed, because he got really pissed. He’d grown up with anger surrounding him, and the only way to express his anger was usually with hitting someone. Or drinking. Conor had learned his drinking habits from his father, he had learned his anger habits from his father too, and the most feared thing was that Conor himself would turn INTO his father. He bit his lip as he felt his blood cool down a bit; the thought of him getting angry made him scared. Even if he wanted to fuck this guy up for using Evelyn, he couldn’t let himself get angry. He looked at Evelyn and sighed lightly. He eyes gave off his sad expression and his lips tilted down in a frown.
|
|
|
Post by Evelyn Pierce on Apr 10, 2007 11:02:13 GMT 7
She was glad he knew what she was going through because a lot of the time she felt as if she was the only one who did so. Her true friends, even her best friends had told her what she was doing was wrong but they didn't seem to get it. Only Conor seemed to get it, he seemed to understand what she was feeling. "..I hate that I do it. I-I j-just keep looking for love in all the wrong p-places.." she said trying to control her stuttering as she felt her eyes get watery. No, she couldn't cry in front of him she just couldn't but soon enough she could feel a few tears spilling on to her cheeks. "..I-I'm so s-stupid." she said very ashamed of herself as she hide her face in his side. She slowly let her arms wrap around him as she held him tightly. She just needed him to be there for her right now. She then was faced with his other question about if he had raped her. She wasn't sure because she hadn't even remembered one bit of it. "I-I don't know.." she said honestly as she held on to him. "..I woke on the floor of a messy apartment somewhere in NYC." she said as she lifted her head so everything she'd said wasn't a muffled mess. She had tear stricken cheeks now and she tried wiping them away. "..I'm an awful mess." she mumbled as she shook her head a bit. She hoped that he didn't think of her as a slut or whore now even though in reality she pretty much was. It was different with Conor though. She cared about what he had to say and she cared what he thought about her.
|
|
|
Post by Conor Moore on Apr 10, 2007 11:38:34 GMT 7
_________________ Conor watched this little girl as she explained how shitty she felt, and he felt like crying himself when she started to cry. When she wrapped her arms around him he wrapped his arms tightly around her and hugged her back. He kissed the top of her head the way a mother would. He then rested his chin on her little head and sighed lightly, “You are not stupid Evelyn to feel how you feel or even do what you do. People make mistakes and they suffer from it… just try not to beat yourself up.” He said quietly. He wasn’t really one to speak because he felt stupid for a lot of shit he himself did. He bit his lower lip and sighed softly. He felt shitty about pretty much everything he did and he really didn’t think that he gave advice or that he should at all.
Conor looked at her as she muffled into his chest. He bit his lower lip and felt his blood begin to boil again. He didn’t think she was a slut or anything. He slept with quite a couple people himself, besides she drunk and all that. He wasn’t sure if she slept with people when she wasn’t but still. “Your beautiful mess.” He said trying to make her smile. He didn’t like to see her cry at all and all he wanted to do right now was kill the stupid fucker and then make her smile and laugh all night long. He doubted that he could make her laugh though because he wasn’t in the highest of sprits either though. He had had a shitty day and a shittier night, so they were pretty much in the same sitch. Only he wanted to make her smile as much as he could. He hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head again.
sorry this is a bad post for me. it's so short.
|
|
|
Post by Evelyn Pierce on Apr 10, 2007 11:51:21 GMT 7
She lifted up her head and gave him a small smile as she hugged him tight once more. He seemed to be the only one that truly cared about how she felt. All of her other friends had been so terribly busy with their lives it's almost like they didn't care anymore. She pressed her lips against his gently and smiled at him. "You make me feel better." she whispered in to his ear as she kissed his cheek gently and let her head lean against his shoulder once more. To be honest the girl had never slept with anyone while she was sober. She'd always been a drunken mess and she probably never would have slept with any of those guys in her right mind. In all reality she felt as if she hadn't even lost her virginity. She thought of her virginity as the first time with someone whom she loved dearly and everyone she'd slept with she didn't care for one bit which only made her look more like a whore. "I-It's hard not beating myself up for it because it's all my fault.." she whispered as she stayed close to him. "..y-you don't hate me now right? I don't want you to think of me as some dirty slut.." she said biting on her lower lip a bit nervous. She couldn't bare for him to hate her. She liked Conor too much to even think about that. He was the only boy she had feelings for, real feelings. She just hoped she wouldn't get crushed again. She felt as if this time was different and that was the only reason she was trusting him with her heart. ooc| it's not your fault. i didn't give you must to work with.
|
|