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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on Apr 30, 2007 6:47:22 GMT 7
Christian didn't hear her voice again until they were in the apartment complex and standing in the elevator. Old memories seemed to flow back. How many times had Christian and Evelyn chatted amiably in the elevator while they waited for it to reach his floor? How many times had they both been laughing like fools and watching the latest episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway? He couldn't put his finger on the exact number, but multiple memories were starting to trigger now that they stood there again; except, this time it was much more awkward and not quite so entertaining.
He nodded when her voice finally penetrated the dim silence of the apartment complex. She managed to strike a question just before they reached the door. "I've been alright," he said, swallowing the thick feeling that lingered in his throat. "How is school?" It wasn't exactly a natural conversation starter between people who had been the closest of friends, but what more he could say? It wasn't like they could dive right into a full on query on her intoxicated state at Antartica. It wouldn't only be rude on his part, but awkward on her, as well.
Christian unlocked the door to his apartment and led them both in. Closing the door carefully and quietly behind him, he nodded towards the living room couch. "If you sit, you might feel better," he advised. The living room was spacious and trendy, if that was even the right way to describe it. It looked like the apartment of a classy, artsy young adult in his mid-twenties. There were hardwood floors everywhere except the kitchen, which was covered in a faintly-patterened white tile. There were no walls between the living room and kitchen - merely a change in flooring.
Christian made his way to the fridge and pulled out two bottled waters before returning to the living room and sitting down on the couch beside Evelyn. "Here," he said quietly, handing her the drink and leaning his back against the comfortable leather. "Do you want some tylenol?"
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Post by Evelyn Pierce on Apr 30, 2007 8:29:16 GMT 7
All the memories that they shared in this apartment came flooding back to her as she looked over at the couch and pictured the two of them sitting there. She'd always been stretched out over his couch often times laying against - or on - him. She missed that. She missed him so much. She looked up at him and gave him a soft smile. "School has been okay." she said and automatically she knew it was a lie. She'd stopped going completely. She had went and picked up assignments the other day but other then that she hadn't even attended. Her grades had took a nose dive ever since.
She simply nodded as he told her to sit and she did so. The soft pillows on the couch touched her hand and she shook her head a bit not wanting all those memories to come flooding back - not now. She looked up at him and smiled as she glanced around the apartment, everything was so familiar it seemed as if nothing had changed. "Man, I miss coming here.." she whispered unsure if he could hear her since he went in to the kitchen to get the water bottles. She brushed a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear as she leaned back against the couch tiredly.
She hadn't even realize he'd spoken until she felt him give her the cold water bottle. "Oh thanks." she said as she twisted the cap off and took a sip. She looked around the apartment - nothing had changed. He had such a lovely apartment compared to the place she lived at, that is if she even still lived there. Teddy and Eve had got in to a fight and he hadn't let her in to the place since. She knew he couldn't afford the place all by himself so he'd have to tell her to either come get her things or pay the rent. She was living off of other people and she didn't know what she was doing with herself anymore.
Her head was starting to hurt as he asked her if she wanted some Tylenol. "Yeah, if it's not a problem." she said with a nod as she looked up at him. She missed looking at that sweet face. Christian, Riley, and Teddy were her best friends but now all she had was Riley and Teddy. Riley was having a breakdown over the death of Hope and Teddy was pissed off at her for becoming a slut. She really had no one but herself.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 1, 2007 1:37:03 GMT 7
She responded almost too quickly, making Christian turn his head completely to look at her beneath slightly furrowed eyebrows. The look on her face could have easily given away the fact she wasn't telling the truth, but Christian knew it could also be the effect of the alcohol in her system. There was really no telling: he had never seen Evelyn his far gone. He wasn't sure how she acted when she was drunk like this. The two of them had shared some drinks before, but it never got to the point of stumbling and severe hangovers. Maybe she was being honest.
Christian heard her words, just barely, when he got up to get the water bottles. He seemed to pause for a second, hesitating and wondering how to respond to something like that. He missed her visits, her companionship... but he couldn't really tell her that now. How could you just turn back the clock and pretend the two, three month absence never even happened? You couldn't. It wouldn't work even if they wanted it to. At least, Christian didn't think so. Old feelings could spring up and he'd be left in the same situation like last time.
He nodded and slid off the couch, making his way once more the kitchen. He should have picked up the tylenol with the water, but his mind had been in too many places at once. Opening the cabinet door above the sink, Christian pulled out a bottle of Tylenol Fast Relief and brought it over to the living room couch. He motioned for her to put out her hand; very carefully, almost strategically, he popped off the top and put two of the 200mg pills in her palm. She didn't need too much or it might react with her stomach. The last thing he needed was for him to somehow manage to overdose her on over-the-counter pain medicine.
"So..." Christian shifted his weight on the couch after he set the medicine bottle on the coffee table in front of them. His chocolate brown eyes glanced sideways at Evelyn, and he felt his throat tighten at the familiar sight of her in his apartment. What was he getting himself into? "You, uh, probably should stay here until the alcohol clears out of your system." After he spoke, Christian mentally slapped himself. Well of course she would have to, why did you say something so obvious? he asked himself.
Closing his eyes and dropping his chin to the ground, Christian let out a soft sigh. He knew the question he wanted to ask her, and he might as well go ahead and get it over with. Small talk was good over coffee, not when your old best friend is trashed on your couch taking tylenol and looking she hasn't slept in days. "What were you doing drinking like that?" His voice came out relatively even, with a hint of odd emotion tugging at the corners of his accented words. He looked down at her, lips barely parted and not moving. "You never drink that much."
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Post by Evelyn Pierce on May 1, 2007 2:09:10 GMT 7
Oh he seemed to know just - SO - much about the girl right? He was her best friend - oh let me refrain that was her best friend until he dumped her like she was yesterdays trash. She didn't understand why it happened or how it happened - it just did. She figured it was because she was so pathetic he couldn't stand to even be around her much less be friends with her. The girl had low self-esteem or did now at least. After high school she gained a lot of confidence and had become the perky and happy girl she was known to be. It all changed slowly but it happened almost directly after Christian suddenly stopped talking to her. It wasn't all his fault of course, for a few weeks she'd been trying to find love in someone or something and it was found in alcohol, cigarettes, and sleepless nights. The drinking and smoking increased and she began to lose sight of who she had been and who she was becoming. She was becoming a worthless slut who didn't even charge. She was turning in to a plastic doll that had no life, no personality, and no thoughts at all. The girl used to be such a smart, beautiful, and happy girl but she'd lost all of that almost instantly. She still had beauty but it wasn't the same - it was now a trashy chic as she liked to say. Her clothing had been replaced with short dress cut extremely too low and other revealing outfits - all of her old outfits that showed barely any skin were thrown out or cut up to be adjusted to her new personality. As he slid the pills on to her hand she looked down at them and shook her head as she grabbed her water bottle from the coffee table and took a sip of it before popping the pills in to her mouth and tilting her head back like she was doing only an hour before with a shot of vodka. She wasn't sure how many drinks she had but she knew it was way too much for her tiny little body. It didn't take much for her to get drunk because of her size - let's face it the girl was like a tooth pick. She was just all skin and bones and nothing else. She didn't eat much at all - just enough to keep her going all day and night. She made up for food in alcohol and cigarettes - something her body definitely did not need. She had been so busy studying his apartment when he spoke his voice sounded so distant that she glanced over at him and her eyebrows furrowed together and then her face softened as she listened to his calming voice. She missed hearing that voice wake her up or call her cell phone and tell her to come over or hang out today and just do nothing but talk and make fun of each other. She missed him. She missed the sweet taste of his lips and the way he always kept her guessing - the flavor of his lips was just enough to keep her on her toes. She shook her head up and down and gave him a faint smile that obviously wasn't that great. "Thanks, I'll get out of your way if you need.." she said then thinking of where she was going to go. She would probably go back to the club she really had no where to go and her car was back in Huntley so she'd wait till the morning to catch a bus or taxi back home. The awkward silence only hinted at the seperation between the two. It was obvious they both were uncomfortable - more so Christian then Evelyn. She knew he was going to ask her a question as she glanced over at him and she found herself studying his face like she used to. She almost wanted to reach out and touch his face and feel his smooth skin on her fingertips but she managed to hold herself back as she glanced down at her black flats that adorned her feet. She listened to his question and she literally wanted to die. She took in a deep gulp as she looked at him and then glanced around the room as if she could just change the subject and get away from all of it. "..well, now I do." she whispered and looked over at him and shook her head. "I guess when we sort of fell out.." she said as she felt someone pinch her heart it seemed as she bit on her lower lip. "..I just started to drink and smoke more and I turned in to this monster." she said and looked down at herself before looking over at him. "It's not your fault...it's my own. I'm stupid." she managed to say as she felt a tears dare to fall on her cheeks as one slid down her pale face.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 1, 2007 2:24:24 GMT 7
"You're not in my way." When Christian spoke, his eyebrows were arched and his eyes were serious. He watched her with an unwavering gaze, the muscles in his jaw tightened to show the honesty in his words. "Why would I have brought you here if you were going to be in the way?" he questioned her with a softer, albeit barely, flicker of his dark eyes.
His heart nearly broke in two when she spoke so pitifully. Christian let out a sigh of his own and reached a hand to his head, rubbing the space between his eyes and on the bridge of his nose. When the word 'monster' fell from her pink lips, he looked at her sternly. "You're not a monster," he started, his tone more severe than it deserved to be. The words faded when he saw the tear slide sadly down her soft cheek.
Instinct kicked in sooner than Christian would have liked. It was almost like wasn't in control of his body and could only see what he was doing from afar. Shifting his weight to the side, Christian put his hands on her arms and pulled her into a gentle hug. "Come on, Evie," he said as he glanced down at the top of her head. "You aren't a monster and you aren't stupid. Don't say something like that."
The feeling of the small girl in his arms made Christian uncomfortable, but in a sense the familiarity soothed him. The poor girl was doused with the strong scent of alcohol and perfume, the first being stronger than the latter. That was different, yes, but she was still the tiny, petite little blonde Christian had spent so much time with in his past. He wasn't sure if he wanted to rest his head on her shoulder or let her go. He was torn between old memories and new instinct as they sat on the couch, his arms wrapped around her comfortingly.
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Post by Evelyn Pierce on May 1, 2007 2:42:37 GMT 7
She looked over at him with a bit of uncertainty as she blinked her eyes a bit to see if she was just dreaming this or not. If she wasn't in the way then why had he dumped her just a few months earlier? She knew it had to be something she'd done or it was something she'd turned in to that totally turned him off and caused him to do that but she was still unsure. She bit at her lower lip a bit as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "W-Well, I just figured that you know I was a pain because how we just stopped talking and everything..." she whispered this as her voice shook with uncertainty as she felt him take her in to his arms. The feeling of his arms around her seemed to make her feel at place and made her think just for an instant that maybe everything would be okay between them but that was beyond impossible now. There was no way they could turn back the clocks and act as if nothing ever happened. There would always be that bit of insecurity and awkwardness between them that would stop them from ever becoming as close as they were even though she'd love to have him back in her life even if it was just as her best friend. She looked at him once more and shook her head as she listened to him speak. "Yes, I am a monster. Or a slut to but it better. I drink every day and I turn in to this drunken mess who gets used by boys and is tossed around like a barbie doll." she said as she was glad she got that out. Her voice was unsteady and she just felt like everything was falling apart all over again. "..I feel stupid. I feel like I've ruined every single relationship I had with anyone, including you." she whispered this as she leaned against his chest and soaked in his smell that was mixed with the heavy scent of alcohol from her own body. It was very comforting being able to just lay in his arms and act like nothing else mattered to her even though everything she thought she knew was false and everything was crashing down in her own little world. "...I scared you away and made you leave." she whispered this as she let her eyes close as she leaned against his chest. Everything felt all too familiar: his arms, his comforting words, and her being the weak little scrawny girl all over again.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 1, 2007 3:01:35 GMT 7
Christian was silent in response. He ran his tongue across the back of his teeth, the familiar tick in his jaw popping every so often as his muscles tensed. It wasn't necessarily her fault they had dropped all communication. Fear was the driving force behind the decision and Christian had been in the driver's seat. It wasn't her, it was him. Although that excuse was normally pathetic and false, it was actually true in this case. And that alone was a frightening thought. "That wasn't your fault," he finally said, keeping his eyes on the wall rather than looking down to see her reaction.
His brows were furrowing increasingly as she spoke. He didn't like hearing the words come out of her mouth; they were so low. Her own voice was unsteady, making Christian hold his tongue. He absently ran a hand up and down her back, taking a single, steady breath and wondering how to respond to that. His hand paused all movement on her back and he actually turned his head to look her in the eyes and listen to hear with his full attention.
When she was finally done, Christian sighed and lifted her away from his chest and just watched her for a moment without speaking. His dark chocolate eyes searched hers, his lips quivered in a thoughtful, contemplating twist. He knew the last thing he wanted to do was admit it was his fault, but if she was blaming herself and turning into this, a confession was the least he could do.
"You didn't scare me away," he said with a sigh. His eyes left hers to look over at the wall and the window gazing over the city lights. How could he explain this to her? Christian had never mentioned his previous relationship - he had been too nervous to bring it up, even when they were the best of friends. "When I came to Rutherford, I met a girl in my journalism intro class. We ended up getting together," he said, reaching a hand up to run through his hair. He was struggling to even share the story. After another hesitant pause, he continued. "I wanted... I wanted to marry her," he said, glancing briefly down at Evelyn before looking away again. "I thought she felt the same. But, near the end of sophmore year and just before our year anniversary, she left." Christian stopped talking and pursed his lips, holding back any emotion that threatened to spill over. "She transferred schools and just left a goodbye note in my dorm."
He didn't speak after that. He gazed at the wall, feeling the same, familiar regret he felt when Rachel had just left. He had never known the reason; she never attempted to make contact. Had she found someone else? Had he done something wrong? Did he make her angry? Was she sick of him? The questions had driven him nearly insane; he had even transferred from a dormitory to an apartment after that year to get away from the familiarity. Now that he had brought up the subject, he felt more displaced than ever.
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Post by Evelyn Pierce on May 1, 2007 4:15:46 GMT 7
She looked at him in confusion - if it wasn't her fault then why had he just stopped talking to her. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at him in total and complete confusion. She shrugged her shoulders as she looked at him. "..Christian I had to scare you away. Your story doesn't make sense.." she whispered and shook her head. She looked at him intently as he picked her up off of his chest and she felt his strong arms still hold her steady as she looked at him. Her cheeks were stained with bits of mascara as she looked up at him and shook her head. "..I made everything awkward and I just miss you. I miss you and I miss us and I miss everything about you." she whispered feeling rather pathetic and scrawny in his strong arms. She listened to his story intently and she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. She must have scared him away because they were approaching a relationship of some sort but that still didn't make sense as to how he left and didn't even give her a chance. "..I'm sorry to hear that Christian. W-Why didn't you tell me before?" she asked curiously. She was somewhat worried about him because she knew what keeping everything inside did to people. It really tore people up and it tore relationships up as well. She knew that from experiences. "..Why did you leave?" she asked knowing now wasn't the right time but she had to ask just like he had. omg i officially suck horribly. sorry i'm just distracted and i couldn't focuse.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 1, 2007 4:55:12 GMT 7
Christian let out a shaky sigh and put a hand to his forehead, closing his eyes and willing his thoughts to clear out. She missed him. He missed her too, though he had never actually admitted it aloud. Admitting it would have only made it worse. Letting his thoughts linger and crawl backwards and forwards would have made it much, much worse. But then again, he had avoided that and now he sat in the living room with her and they were both in shambles.
"I don't know," he said with a shrug. There was no real reason he had chosen to avoid the topic with her. It never really came up and he couldn't imagine giving out that kind of information. It made him sound like a complainer, or someone who whined and cried over past relationships. There were very few people that knew what happened between Christian and Rachel. His own family didn't even know; Christian had told them things got shaky and they decided to break it off. Rachel's transfer only helped accomodate that false truth.
Her next question made him look at her and let out a breath, his lips thin and thoughtful. He shook his head a little, eyes falling to the coffee table and small white tylenol bottle. "I didn't want it to happen again," he said finally, offering only a simple shrug with a simple, sad glance in her direction. "Once was enough."
Christian cleared his throat, as though it would somehow replace the sad tension with something more fruitful. It didn't, of course, but it was worth a try anyway. A slight tinge began to ache in his skull, making him five the tylenol a second glance. In a single motion, he picked up the bottle and popped off the cap. He put two capsules into his own palm and took them with his water. He had a feeling this was going to be a long night, and a headache wouldn't suit. "I went about it the wrong way, though," he said after a moment. "I'm sorry."
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Post by Evelyn Pierce on May 1, 2007 5:32:57 GMT 7
They were both silent and it seemed they both didn't know what to do at all. A few months ago they were talking to each other nonstop and now both of them seemed to be at a loss for words. It was quite pitiful really. She missed him and this all just seemed to awkward and unbearable to really deal with. She was really starting to fall for the boy too and it seemed like everything was going smoothly and with her luck, everything just stopped like a train wreck. "You know you could have told me anything.." she said as she thought back to her words. "..you still can." she whispered knowing that it might be a bit awkward because the two of them weren't even close anymore. "I mean we're not close anymore but I do miss you..." she whispered as she bit down on her lower lip. She glanced over at him and shook her head a bit. Her head was throbbing and she was seriously regretting all of those drinks. She looked over at him and let out a soft sigh as she listened to him. "I wouldn't have done that to you." she said feeling like he didn't even trust her. "..I understand though but you could have just said something instead of just ending our relationship like that." she said her voice sounding a bit harsh but she hadn't meant it too. She let out a soft sigh as she looked up at him and then watched him pop the pills in to his mouth. "I'm sorry this all must be giving you a headache.." she said knowing she wasn't being a pleasant house guest at all. "Yeah, you did go about it the wrong way. I tried calling and you never answered.. I was so worried.." she whispered as she remembered the days after as she tried and tried to get in touch with him but he hadn't answered. She asked around and people said he was just fine and then she knew he'd been avoiding her because there was no reason he wouldn't have called her back by then. They used to be so close but now everything was just so awkward between them. "I just miss you.." she whispered and shook her head once more. She glanced over at him and she just wished she was in his arms and none of this had to happen and they were just fine - how they used to be with laughter and smiles and sweet innocent kisses that seemed to mean nothing but showing their love for each other.
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Post by Christian Patrick Elliot on May 1, 2007 8:08:08 GMT 7
"It isn't that easy, Evie," Christian said with a frown, looking down at her with distressed, dark eyes. "I loved her," he said, closing his lips and looking away. In a way, he still did love her. Despite her sudden disappearance, Christian often found himself thinking about her and what a great couple they had made. He even thought he might take her back if she ever returned to the city. His heart ripped in two when he spent too much time thinking about her. Christian mistaked that for the love he used to share; he thought it was still lingering.
He sighed and offered a tiny, struggling smile. "I miss you, too." Christian watched her with those same, unmoving eyes, wondering what might have happened if he had shared his story with her sooner. Maybe it really would have changed things, and maybe it wouldn't have. There was no way of finding out now. The two friends would have to accept what happened and move on; the direction was ultimately up to them, however.
Christian shook his head a little, not wanting to upset the dull throbbing in his temple but wanting her to know it wasn't her fault. "You have no reason to apologize. Quit." It was as simple as that. He knew he wouldn't have to say it again. Christian didn't want her apologizing all night long and his simple request was probably going to be enough to clear it up.
"I didn't mean to make you worry," he said, leaning back against the couch and releasing her arms. He turned his head sideways, cheek pressed against the leather, and looked at her sadly. "You don't know how horrible it would have been if we turned out the same way." His jaw ticked as he tightened his muscle and released it once more. "I don't know if I could handle that again, Evie," he said with a sigh, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. "It would break me." Honesty at it's best.
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Post by Evelyn Pierce on May 1, 2007 8:23:44 GMT 7
She took in a deep breathe as she nodded. It was hard for her to understand because she'd never truly been in love. The only love she'd ever felt was from her friends. Her family simply didn't care and it was ever so obvious and had been through out her childhood. She looked around the apartment trying to think up a response that didn't come out incredibly stupid. "..well, I never really felt love so I can't say I understand.." she admitted as she looked down at her shoes. "I've only felt love from my friends but I know it must hurt to be left like that.." she said then thinking back to what happened between the two. "..I sort of know the feeling." she whispered as she bit down on her lower lip. It was the same scenario except not as intense. There was no love between them just mixed feelings and emotions that neither of them had made clear. She wondered what really would have happened if they'd continued with their relationship and things continued to go smoothly as they had. She figured it would be a happy ever after scenario but it would probably not have ended like this. Who knows, maybe Evelyn would have so many problems now or she could have more. There was really no looking at the situation that was over, there was no reason to be curious about something that was obviously over. They had a new relationship though and maybe they could become good friends again - it was all up to them what path they chose whether it be love, friendship, enemies, or not even a relationship at all. She knew that apologizing wasn't going to make things better, it wasn't going to change the situation, it wasn't going to make everything peachy keen anymore but she could only wish right? She placed her hand on her forehead as she let her eyelids close over her dull blue eyes. Her head was throbbing and she'd regretted the drinks, she regretted letting that man touch her, she regretted ever beginning to drink as much as she did. She knew if she continued she'd travel down a path of regret and it took Christian - a friend long gone - to make her see that and to make her realize she was being an idiot. She listened to him speak once more as his words came out so calm and nice she knew she'd missed hearing that voice and it was almost too much for her headached head to think about. "Christian, if you never give love a chance you'll never feel that wonderful feeling again." she said as she looked at him. "I'm not telling you to go and start falling in love with anyone but I'm just saying you've got to trust people and give them a chance. We might not have ended the same way - who knows what would have happened. We can't turn back the clocks now can we?" she said as she looked at him and a small frown graced her face. "..I kind of wish maybe we had gave it a chance but theres no reason to really think of all that now. It's over." she whispered the last part as she looked in to his dark eyes searching for some or anything at all.
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