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Post by Conor Moore on Apr 13, 2007 13:18:30 GMT 7
______________ Conor listened to Evelyn talk and looked down at his feet, a beer sitting in his pathetic hand as he looked at the dirt that was caked on his shoes. He felt so ashamed of himself, he was so pathetic. He bit his lip hard as to try and stop the tears from flowing from his eyes. This was so fucking pathetic. He liked her he just wouldn’t show her. He guessed that she was pretty right about that part, and she might have been right in saying that he wasn’t who she thought he was, but who’s fault is that? He guessed that was his fault to. He felt sick to his stomach as he watched her walk away. His eyes squeezed shut and he opened another beer, squeezing the contents into his mouth, and swallowing the beer down in big gulps. He then looked over at were Evelyn had ended up and laughed lightly—why if she wanted to be done with him—would she sit only a couple feet away from him.
Conor stood up, feeling slightly dizzy from the three beers that he had just gulped down and grabbed his beer as he walked over to her and sat down next to her, “I’m sorry. I do care. I just… I guess your right that I don’t really give people chances, but that’s cause I don’t really know how to show people that I care about them, because the only way I got shown that people cared about me—at least that’s what he claimed—was by getting hit or thrown across a room… so I’m so sorry that I can’t show you… but if you want me to show you that I care… in the only way I know how… I could hit you across the face if you want.” He said with a shrug. He was a bit tipsy, other wise he never would have shared that his father—or whoever the ‘him’ was—had beat him. Conor wouldn’t have said everything that he’d said unless he was drunk or tipsy. He hated that he was pretty much a lightweight. But you’d be fuckin’ drunk too if you’d just downed three beers. Conor swayed in his seat and looked at Evelyn with eager eyes, did she want him to show her that he cared; he highly doubted that she did, and he most likely never would hit a girl. Because he had grown up getting beaten and he didn’t like that.
Conor sighed lightly, “I like you Evelyn, but I’m pretty sure that you no longer ever like me.” He frowned at how he had said that, it didn’t make any sense to him and he was pretty sure that it wouldn’t to her, but he was too drunk to really try and fix it. He took another swig from a new beer and looked at Evelyn with a wide smile. “I’m pretty much a lightweight.” He said with a small giggle.
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Post by Evelyn Pierce on Apr 14, 2007 0:51:53 GMT 7
The tears continued to stream down her cheeks as she sat there on the bench and thought about why Conor was doing all this because it just didn't seem like him. Then again, people always had a way of changing. She didn't want him to change though - she wanted Conor to be the same caring and sweet guy that she had met. She wanted him to stay that way and not change one bit. She couldn't believe that she had been such a fool to let another boy have her heart only for them to crush it. She heard his footsteps approach as she turned her head away so she didn't have to look at him. She listened intently to what he had to say as she shook her head. "Hitting someone isn't love. Love is when you care about someone and when you only want the best for them. Love is when you don't let them leave. Love is sweet kisses and hugs. Love is anything but hitting someone." she whispered and shook her head as he turned to see him she just shook her head disappointed. "Drinking those beers isn't going to fix your problems Conor." she shook her head one more. "They just make it worse." she whispered and wiped a few of her tears. "..I know because I've done the same thing." she said and shook her head once more. "I drink and smoke so that I won't have to feel. It won't fix your problems Conor. It won't fix mine either.." she whispered and shook her head. It was obvious he was tipsy and he might not understand anything she was trying to tell him but she hoped that at least the slightest bit would get to him. "..I care about you so much Conor. I really do." she whispered and shook her head. "..I want to show you that but you won't let me.." she said as she shook her head once more. She was killing herself from the inside with every cigarette she lit up and ever beer she took down. "..all your fears are pushing me away. You have to let me have a chance to show you that I won't hurt you Conor." she whispered as she looked at him intently. She was so unsure of what she was saying and she knew if he could even comprehend it he probably could care less of what the girl had to say. She was just a little scrawny blond crying her eyes out over him - who says that doesn't happen everyday? She wasn't anyone different or anyone special. She wasn't even pretty. She was just another stupid girl falling for a boy who could care less. She wanted the old Conor back - the one that wouldn't think of doing this to her. Or at least she thought. "I guess I'm just creating fairy tales here." she whispered and shook her head once more. She was still a bit worried about what he was talking about with the hitting and she was concerned. She figured now wasn't the best time to ask him though. "..I do like you Conor. I care so much about you but you just don't see it." she whispered as she let her knees fall back to the ground as she looked over at him. It had grown completely dark in the park and a few of the lights had came on. They were all alone and everything was so quiet besides their voices and Conor popping open another beer.
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Post by Conor Moore on Apr 14, 2007 10:27:57 GMT 7
__________________ Conor hated this very moment, but it was getting better and better as he got drunker and drunker. He drank more of his beer as he listened to her lecture him, “Oh please god… shut up Evelyn… you don’t know what I’m trying to hide!” he said angry with her. He really should just leave so that he didn’t completely ruin everything. He got up and shrugged, “Fuck this… I’ll call you in a couple days… I can’t deal with all this shit… you DON’T KNOW ME!” he yelled at her, bending at his legs as he did so. He got so frustrated with people who think that they know everything about everyone. He wished that people would just stay to themselves. Why did everyone need someone, It sucked ass and he hated that he was one of those people who needed someone too. He sighed frustrated and looked at her angrily, “I just need to fucking breath and to deal with some shit.” He said clenching his teeth.
Conor turned to walk away and then realized that he’d left half of his beer on the bench with her, he walked back and then picked up his beer as he looked at her annoyed, “I know I NEED help, but I’m not going to get it from another alcoholic emotional RETARD like YOU!” he said this in the harshest of voices ever. He couldn’t believe it had come out of him. He wasn’t sure if there was anyway he could fix this, he hoped that when he got sobered up he’d be able to somehow fix this. He’d probably cry to her and beg, like he normally did. Maybe he’d fix it with something new, or maybe it wasn’t gonna be fixable. “FUCK YOU! FUCK ME!” he yelled as he started to walk away again. Conor knew that he would feel horrible about making her cry and whine to him, but there wasn’t anything he could do right now. He was drunk and he was angry. When he got angry he really couldn’t control himself at all. He had inherited his father’s temper.
Conor began to walk away and finished off another beer, he would most likely get high when he got home and then the next morning, or maybe the morning after that, he’d call Evelyn up and try to make ends meet. He’d say he was sorry and he’d try to open up as much as he could. He hoped that it would go well, even though at the moment he was so angry he could punch a fucking wall.
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Post by Evelyn Pierce on Apr 14, 2007 10:59:23 GMT 7
She waited for him to say something to her but when the words came spilling out of her mouth in such a harsh tone she wished she had never came to the park to hear that. Her eyes grew wide as she listened intently. Her jaw dropped open as she looked over at him in such a scared manor that she couldn't even believe that any of this had happened. It was just an argument that in just a small amount of time had turned horrible. "..I don't know you Conor." she whispered and shook her head. "..I don't think I ever want to." she managed to scream back at him as she shook her head. She was beginning to scare herself and he was scaring her as well. Tears were streaming down her face and stains of mascara and eyeliner were smeared down her face. She looked a terrible mess but inside she felt worse. "Go deal with your shit Conor. Don't expect me to be there when you get back." she screamed as she just shook her head. As he began to walk away she actually felt happy. Happy that he was gone. He'd caused her more pain then happiness and in that she couldn't feel anything for him. Inside her heart was torn to either pity him because he's so fucking screwed up or hate him for all the pain he's caused her. Shall she speak ill of him whom she'd loved - or at least thought so? She took in a deep gulp as she tried to think things threw. She knew she wasn't going to follow him or even try to reason with him tonight and any few days in the future. She wasn't going to go pity him. No, she wasn't she'd just go get fucked up and get fucked around with by a few guys. 'I know I need help, but I'm not going to get it from another alcoholic emotional retard like you' was still running through her head as more tears spilled on to her cheeks. "Why am I so stupid?" she shrieked and shook her head. Her fingers scrambled in her purse to find her cigarettes as she took one out and lit it up. Her hands unsteady began to shake as she took a hit from the cigarette and let the smoke exit from her lips as she stared in to the night sky that never seemed to end. She glanced in the direction that Conor had gone and she saw him staggering with his beer in hand as he continued to walk. "Why are you so fucked up?" she said and shook her head. She need some serious drugs right about now but she just didn't know what to do with herself. Leave this place and forget about him? Or try her best to heal the situation though that seemed quite impossible.
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